Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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