just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
