sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize