literally had 100 drinks last night.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I need water and some morals
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
