i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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