Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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