Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's blow job season.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
