my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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