Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
