Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Randomize
