my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
