Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
