I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize