Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
