Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
