Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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