I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
