Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
