Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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