I'm drive I can fine osifer
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
