Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
