So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
