drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
