so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
