Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
