I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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