Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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