I hate all girls vehemently.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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