well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
