So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
this will be a night to untag.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
