He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
