Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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