I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
