Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
