O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
