The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
