I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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