That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He shit in the fireplace
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