windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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