Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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