we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
