Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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