yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
