Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize