Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
