hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
