coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
