I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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