this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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