He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize