I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
