omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize