Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
