Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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