Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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