So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
